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Ever woken up feeling like a fackin French man has taken up residence in your swede time to move that arse hole out!!
CURE 1: FRY UP!! Okay so you`ve just woken up after a night on the swill! Your stomach is sinking like the Titanic!! The last thing you can face doing is eating! But the fry up can really sort you out it rises your blood sugar levels so you don`t get dizzy and all those carbs have gotta be good for you!! OKAY so good in theory but the truth is you`ll feel like there`s a dead cat in your belly and you probably gonna spew that feline son a bitch up!!
CURE 2: RAW EGGS AND O.J!! Oh come on all those health freaks that gulp down whole raw eggs to "build up strength" are`nt gonna be so hard when those get a dose of salamonela along with the shits!!
CURE 3: WATER WATER WATER!! Desperate for a piss and ya mouth feels like Ghandi`s sandal? Sound familiar? Thats dehydration and what your body needs is some fluid ( Preferbly someone elses!)!! Water is good but it don`t fill you up that whole in your belly needs something more substantial!!
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THE SECOND BEST CURE!!!
CURE 4: A GOOD PINT!!! Of course our old friend BEER! What a way to start a morning! Makes you feel like a million bucks again, rehydrated and energetic!! But the thing is your just pissed again!! And after having drunk eight pints by 12 noon you are now very very pissed!! Time to hit the sack and start again tomorrow!! |
Does this really make you feel any better? |
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THE BEST CURE I`VE EVER HAD!!
CURE 5: GO PAINT BALLING!! Thats right, you feel like shit and your being a bit too self sympathetic but get some 20 stone Brummie charging after with a carbon powered paint weapon in a muddy, cold, wet forest just off the M6 and you`ll soon forget that you feel like a turd as well as the fact that you made a complete TWAT of yourself the previous night!! BUT WAIT! Theres one more cure left up my sleeve! SEE BELOW!! |
FEELING LIKE THIS??!! |
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FERDNABRANCA!!
Thats right FERDNABRANCA!! This is some obscure foreign spirit made from camel piss I think!! My DAD made me sup one of these on holiday in Majorca whilst me and me mate Charles were winging about feeling like shite!! Charlie did`nt drink his (IT TASTED FACKIN FOUL) but I went for it and I felt like I`d been reborn!! IT WAS WICKED! Can`t seem to find over here though so stick with the combat sports!!! |
Ever brushed your teeth with VODKA? Don`t bother its bloody horrible!! |
